Thought I’d take the opportunity to write a live post, as I’m sitting in Starbucks drinking my latte and eating my danish all on my own. Yep, I’m being one of those people.
Actually this is the first time I’ve ever taken advantage of the Starbucks wi-fi and just sat here for a while. And the reason is I’m contemplating, I’m debating things and my mind is full of all kinds of things. It has been for the last couple of weeks. So sitting here on my own, with the sound of cafe jazz and chitter chatter around me I’m hoping to at least clear my mind a little, before coming to a conclusion.
The conclusion I’m searching for is the biggest decision I will have made… I think, in my whole life? The thing is I currently have my name on hold for a trip around Europe for just over a month next year. I sat down with a travel agent, spoke about my options (this was last week) and after changing my mind numerous times I eventually created – in my opinion – an amazing trip. I picked 3 individual trips and added them together, the only issue possibly being that the departure dates all connected together and after my very helpful and patient travel agent did her thing and checked all of them, we discovered they flowed perfectly. Literally, what else could I ask for?
So before coming to Starbucks, I saw her again to clarify a few extra things but I’m still yet to put my deposit down and I can’t work out what’s holding me back. It’s not the money because I’m a savvy saver and I still have until next June to get all my money together. It’s not the time because I don’t have any prior commitments with work or anything (I have a seasonal, flexible job).
I suppose it’s just the letting go. It’s a big thing to travel solo for the first time for a longer period of time than what you’re usually used to. It’s fear that thinking you’ll invest so much money, time and effort into something and it won’t be perfect. But hey, what is?
Trust me I’ve read a bunch of blogs from travellers (and a lot of female solo travellers) giving tips and sharing their experiences and they all say the same thing. Booking the ticket is the hardest part. I’m already starting to see this. Once I’m booked, I’ll have so much to organise and prepare for and be excited for. But am I waiting for that extra nudge?
If I wait for an ‘extra nudge’ from someone/something completely unknown to me, I’ll be waiting forever! I’ve already been waiting years to take the plunge and travel solo long-term.
One thing I know is when I do take the plunge and go for it, I intend to share everything on my blog in the most real way possible. I don’t want to sugar coat anything. I want to give an insight to other travellers that I haven’t quite had myself when researching and planning over all this time.
Something I’ve just realised, looking around Starbucks is the amount of women sitting at tables on their own. Most of them are really young and they’re all doing their own thing, reading a book, working on their laptops, one is literally just sitting and I think I might be the only one blogging :). I’m not looking at any of them and thinking how lonely they look, I’m just accepting them for being independent people and I think that’s what I need.
I think I’ll come to coffee shops on my own again. Just sometimes when I need that me-time. It’s been good. And I think I’ll put my deposit down to prove that I can be independent too, not just in coffee shops but around the world. Europe is just the starting point.
I’ll update when I’ve made my decision!